How to Get What You Want
Your career isn’t built by waiting for someone to notice your value. It’s built by learning how to advocate for yourself with confidence.
You’ve been told your work will speak for itself. Yet despite doing everything asked of you—and more—you’re still feeling overlooked and uncertain about your next step. Leadership isn’t just about managing a team; it’s navigating the complexities of internal relationships and consistently advocating for your growth.
On Get What You Want, Susie Tomenchok is your silent partner, empowering you with the mindset and tools to negotiate your career—and life—with intention.
Unlike podcasts that focus on climbing the ladder or hustle culture, this show is for women who want to own their careers authentically. You’ll learn practical strategies for everyday negotiations, from asking for what you deserve to confidently handling tough conversations. Because negotiation isn’t just for raises or promotions—it’s how you navigate every opportunity in your career and beyond.
Susie is a negotiation expert who understands the challenges of being in a male-dominated industry and the struggles women face when advocating for themselves. She’s helped countless professionals unlock their potential and will show you how to do the same.
If you’re ready to stop waiting for your career to happen to you and start creating the opportunities you want, hit follow and join Susie each week to build your confidence, advocate for yourself, and finally Get What You Want.
How to Get What You Want
Changing your orientation
What if there was a way to amplify your presence at work, leaving you feeling less underutilized and more influential? In this episode, we'll navigate the art of internal advocacy - exploring how to increase exposure and leverage positivity in your self-representation, regardless of your personality type. It’s not just about boardrooms and contracts, negotiation is an everyday tool, and I'm here to give you a masterclass.
Negotiation isn’t about manipulation, it's about understanding and meeting needs. Our journey heads into the heart of everyday negotiations, exploring techniques to surge your confidence and dissolve fear. So, whether you're a rising executive feeling unseen or someone simply wanting to grow personally and professionally, this episode holds the keys to transforming your career trajectory and interpersonal relationships. It's time to emerge from the unseen, step into the light, and take charge of your narrative. Tune in and let's ignite that spark together!
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🚀 Ready to Get What You Want?
Listening is great, but real change happens when you take action. Join my newsletter for exclusive negotiation strategies, scripts, and real-world case studies you won’t hear on the podcast. Sign up now at www.negotiationlove.com—it takes 10 seconds and will change how you view and negotiate forever.
📖 Continue Your Professional Growth with These Resources:
Get my Book: The Art of Everyday Negotiation without Manipulation:
www.susietomenchok.com/the-art-of-everyday-negotiation
Work With Me: Speaking, corporate training, and executive coaching:
www.susietomenchok.com/services
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Remember, negotiation is more than a skill—it’s a mindset.
💕Susie
www.linkedin.com/in/susietomenchok
Welcome to the Leaders with Leverage Podcast. I'm your host and negotiation expert, suzy Tomonczuk. It's time to be your own advocate and negotiate for what you really want out of your career, not simply the next role or additional compensation. I want to show you that negotiation happens each and every day so that you opt in and say yes with confidence. Together with other business leaders, you'll learn the essential skills you, as a leader, needs to become that advocate in growing your professional skills, to increase confidence, gain respect and become the future leader you're poised to be, and when you face a high-stakes situation, you're ready, no matter how high those stakes are. So let's do this. Let's lead with Leverage. Hi, welcome to Leaders with Leverage. I'm your host, suzy Tomonczuk. I am so happy that you're here. I feel like I say that every time, but it never gets old with me and I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:I've heard people are using these episodes to think about their approaches in different scenarios, and I think this one will be something that will be good for you to maybe come back to when you have to face looking at a situation differently. So let me tell you I'm working with this person, this executive within an organization. I'll call him. He is a leader on his way to the executive level and he's very accomplished. He's just one of those people that does everything with passion. He's such a great leader. He, I think, believes that the harder he works he'll just be recognized, and he tends to be more introverted, doesn't make a big splash about his accomplishments or his team's accomplishments and he's a little bit like why don't they just ask me to do something sometimes? Or how can I expand my exposure a little bit more so that they consider me for different things that are outside of the normal role and responsibility? It could be anything from being the facilitator of solving an issue internally that's going to bring together a lot of different parts of the organization. It could be being somebody that is emceeing a town hall for the company. It's just those things that might just kind of fall outside of just the normal day-to-day stuff that he feels like he's been with the organization for a long time but he feels invisible. He doesn't feel like that. He's seen the other people that have been there.
Speaker 1:So we've talked a lot about what are the things that he can do to expand his exposure? And I think it's an interesting topic to consider is what is your exposure meaning what are you seeing? It has a little bit to do with your influence within the organization, because the more exposure you get, the more that people know to trust. You Know like and trust is. You know people like to do business with organizations. They know like and trust. They like to do things with teammates. They know like and trust.
Speaker 1:And so, thinking about that know, like and trust factor, your influence internally and how do you move through that? So he and I have talked about some ways that he can do that and I want to share some of those with you today because it's something that you can just start observing right away. So that's the first one. The first one is take a look around and look at people who you perceive as have exposure or, for him, who are being selected, that are within your peer group and why. And so he started looking at that and came back to me and gave me some of the things that he saw of why he believed those people get recognized. And so that's the first one is an outgoing person that tends to lean in when there's a meeting or an opportunity to talk to a senior leader, just somebody that automatically goes and is not afraid to Start up a conversation around hey, what did you do, you know, this weekend? It can be as simple as that, or just being seen by being there in the moment and not just like leaving the zoom or leaving the meeting without making a personal connection. And so he noticed that this person, just by being in the right place, that he makes sure he's in the office more often than not, he makes sure that he, the people in leadership, not just up but side to side, know him. They just have seen him, not that they even know what his contribution to the company is, which I think is a little soft, this guy, but because he's seen and he's light, he's trusted. So look around and look at who might have exposure, have the exposure that you want, and how do they get it. And don't just look at one person because that can be a unicorn or anomaly, but look at how it's done, because culturally, within the organization that's another thing it's the habit of the organization sometimes to notice certain people that maybe volunteer or are more social or whatever that might be. So look at the individual and then look at what, culturally, where people get exposure and what that kind of habit is of the company, that senior leaders notice people.
Speaker 1:The second thing that I think is a great way to look at going into a conversation whether it's advocating for yourself or just having a dialogue is think about the orientation of the other person. We tend to think about our insecurities or the way we come across, and we don't want to be somebody. We're not, and so the words we select, you know, like when we advocate for ourselves, well you know. If it's not the right time, that's fine, or. I don't want to overstate my experience. I don't want to sound like I'm being self serving, that that feeling of that orientation comes from our own frame and that doesn't mean the other person hears it that way. Hey there, love this podcast. I'm taking 10 seconds out of this episode to ask you to leave an honest review. More reviews on the show help us to reach more professionals who are ready to lead with leverage. Now let's continue the conversation.
Speaker 1:So when you're going to talk about advocating for yourself, for talking to somebody and you believe that you're junior to them or you don't have something that will be of interest to them in the conversation, or whatever you're positioning to that person, think about their orientation. Think about if they're not interested in you know, if you're not interested in them, think about if they're really bold and strong with words and confident. Use that as your script in your head. Feel more liberated to use stronger words, because if that you use a word that feels very strong to you, like I believe I deserve this and it's something that they would normally use they're not going to hear it from your orientation, they're going to hear it from their filter, so it's not going to feel so strongly placed or framed. So think about that orientation and allow that to be a place where you can select your words, where you can think about being a little bit bolder or clear. What do they need to understand for them to say yes or see you in a different way? I think this is a really untapped skill that when you think about it from their perspective, how can you come across in a way that's comfortable? Because when you think about it, people like to surround themselves with people that are like them, that think like them, so when you kind of act like them, that feels more familiar to them as well.
Speaker 1:So think about the orientation of the other person when you walk in and then the last one is to think about who can you use to say yes and make, not who you can use Make when there's an opportunity in front of you, when there's an idea that's thrown out by senior leader or a peer or your leadership. Make your default yes and figure it out later. Don't automatically allow the thoughts of why it's not me, why I don't have the experience to be the MC, why I can't lead that special project, because my peers don't see me as somebody that has that expertise. Make yes your default and then figure it out later, even if you feel like, oh my gosh, I have no idea what I'm doing. Say yes and then go to somebody if you need them and say how should I approach this? If you feel like you're not skilled or don't have the experience, then leverage somebody in your network that can help you, but make yes your default.
Speaker 1:My friend James Capps gave me that one. He said that that is his default in his career and I'll tell you he has had a very successful career and is now in senior leadership as basically a CTO of a big financial firm. And it's all because of his mindset around, just as he says, saying yes more often, even when it's not even posed as a question or an opportunity, thinking about, hey, let me take that on. So, yes, can look like there's something. So, for this example, if you think, oh, why did they select me for that MC for our leadership summit that we do every year? Why not, in the off season, go to whoever pulls that together and say, hey, I would love to be a part of that. How can I get involved? What do you need? Who do you need? Why do we sometimes wait for people to come to us?
Speaker 1:We can make a yes for ourselves by saying, by opting in beforehand. So what can you do to make that yes, something that somebody hadn't even thought about before? So think about that. First of all, really looking around you who has influence or who has opportunities and how have they gotten them? What observe how the company makes those decisions. How does that leader that you want to be seen by make those decisions so that you can be in that funnel or in that pathway, so that they automatically pick you?
Speaker 1:The second is to really think about the orientation of the other person. But how do you want them to see you? What words do they use that you can use in the conversation? How can you make yourself familiar to them. And then the third is to embrace the raise your hand mentality. Make yes your default and, in fact, don't wait for the question how can you go to people and and seize opportunities before they've even thought about who they want in that place? If you want to be seen, you want to Raise your hand, you want to have conversations, you want to put yourself out there, the worst that can happen is they say we already have somebody for that and you know what that means and they'll pick you next time Because you're giving them some information.
Speaker 1:Reframe it for yourself. You're not being selfish. You're helping them find the right fit for whatever opportunity that is and that builds your exposure. That helps people know how great you are and it increases your influence. And what influence does within an organization. It allows you to be an impactful leader for yourself, for others, for the business. So what can you do to increase your exposure?
Speaker 1:I hope this was something that was helpful to you. Think about somebody that needs to think about this for themselves, somebody that doesn't normally, naturally advocate for themselves or is such a rock star but you feel like they're not seen as much as they should be. We naturally might be introverts or we might have this natural course of the way we do it that we just want to be recognized and not toot our own horn, but these kind of things are the skills that we need to build and develop that muscle that we need to for other areas of our careers. And why not practice these things in our day to day? It gets us more opportunities in the here now, but it also allows us to put these practices in place automatically so that we can see other things. It kind of opens up those optics to see things more around us. So take these three keys.
Speaker 1:If somebody else that you know needs to hear this podcast, this episode, just forward this to them, not for me, but for them. Help people. I want people to really leverage what they have and be confident that trying will make them better. Thank you for being here so much. I love being a resource to you and I appreciate you so much. If you have a question that is on your mind, please reach out to me.
Speaker 1:I'm on LinkedIn. Just send me a quick note and say hey, can you just talk about this on your podcast? I'm always looking for things, for topics, to bring to you, so if you're listening, I would love to serve you personally. Thanks for being here. My name is Suzy, this is Leaders With Leverage, and I so appreciate you. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Leaders With Leverage. If you're ready to continue your professional growth, commit to accelerating your career development and say goodbye to that anxious feeling in your stomach anytime you need to advocate for yourself, then get my book the Art of Everyday Negotiation Without Manipulation. In this book, you'll learn the essential steps to take before entering into any negotiation or conversation, any interaction. In your day to day. You'll discover what the other party really needs and be clear about what you're going after. You'll bust through your fears and boost your confidence and embrace that negotiation truly happens all around us. Head to the link in the show notes for more, and you can even get a bonus if you buy it today.
